My contribution to the Brooklyn Library Sketchbook Project is due to be sent out by mid-April but I have not started a single page. My recovery and recharging took more time than expected, weighed down by the remnants of old guilt on daring to take a break when so much has to be done.
But today is a rather good day, given that I've been at a loss on what to do with the Sketchbook despite several initial ideas that lost luster because I've put it off for far too long. Today the final idea on what to do with it has come and, if I am lucky, I just might be able to get started today, for real.
I woke up late this morning, and immediately felt the twinge of guilt because so much could have been done since sunrise. But I pushed the guilt aside and went to my Etsy shop to complete "recycling" the listings of items that have been sold into listing of new items. I have also decided to put EVERYTHING on 10% off until April 2. (Take a look at the shop here.)
Having done that was when the Sketchbook idea came. Like a token for completing a task.
Next to do is writing in the journal, another practice I've sorely neglected. All I've been doing is tinkering with the pages but not really writing the way I need to.
Writing long and deep is a sure way to get into the forest. I just need to find a space where I will not be constantly interrupted and where my back and shoulders won't hurt (the studio setup and space are okay for typing and painting but not so much for handwriting). I also would like some natural daylight, if it isn't too much to ask.
I have added categories to Stories. There are a few bits and pieces I plan to add to the collection in the coming days.
I am almost at two hundred pieces, taking full inventory of my artwork. Also keeping track of what's included in the website gallery, what's sold, what's made available as prints and products. I've resurrected a few older pieces. The Garden is revived -- new designs in Society6 and Redbubble shops, and as previously mentioned a very updated Etsy.
But the Garden is only as good as the Wildforest, which needs its own tending of a different kind. it's harder work. It's soul work. It's heart work. I want to bring more forest into the garden. More savage and wild alongside the safe and sweet. More dares and provocations beside inspirations of peace and calm.
Yesterday I rediscovered an old piece buried among the last unsorted bag of clutter. I added a few details and now it's up at Etsy. She's a monster and yet her venom can also be a way to understanding. I have an uneasy relationship with her. She dwells within the narrow borders between the garden and the forest, always eager for an opening to slip into either places. Always ready to strike, disguised as hope or a beginning.
I'm staying resolute about keeping away from anything duty, even if it's studio work. Even social obligations. If it feels even slightly like a 'should', I am putting it off until Monday. Right now even making new bookmarks to replenish sold ones feels like a 'should'. So does writing that Commissions page in the website.
What I want is to create without the wishes and expectations of others hanging anywhere around me. (Make something more masculine. Make more products to make more money. Accept commissions and do them for the money even if they're not true to the heart of your art, even if you don't feel like doing it. Make affordable pieces so you can sell more. Don't make pieces that are too scary or weird or confusing.)
I now remember I need to put together an art portfolio to complete an application to participate in an Art Mart where I can sell my art. It feels a bit like a 'should' to me. And besides I don't think I'll have resources to make it to the April Art Mart schedule.
I want a Traveler's Notebook. And the pretty stuff that go with it.