A Rather Awkward Start But It's Not Too Bad
Another Monday and starting it off with the result of a mistake. Nothing can be done to change things now but I've learned the lesson. The only way is through and I'll make the most of whatever good comes out of it.
The mistake was agreeing to a sideline booking because I didn't realize that today is a Monday instead of a Tuesday. On the day it was booked I had at least three meetings for the day plus a couple of deadlines. The booking was my last item for that day and it was part of the last meeting and my brain was soup. Hence the Monday part slipped by me -- and I only this weekend.
A short background on why the matter matters: I've claimed Mondays as my days. I am determined to kill Sunday syndrome in my life and making Monday my day has proved to be effective. On Mondays, I do things for myself -- from chores to studio work. Or make it a rest day if I didn't get enough rest on Sunday. I've been doing this for about two months or so and it wasn't smooth sailing because there was a lot of inner programming that had to be reset. The transition was quite tough.
And then I found myself sleeping better on Sunday nights. My mood became lighter even on weekdays because eventually I also claimed Wednesday as a midweek break. Thus allotting only three weekdays for sidelines, and claiming three days for studio and myself (Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays). Sunday became sacred again.
Except for last night when Insomnia came back with a vengeance and brought along its favorite buddy, Anxiety. I had to get up very early today to prepare and I got to sleep at almost 4 AM.
Still, it helps a lot to know that this is merely a mistake and it won't happen again as much as it is within my power to make it so. So my heart does not feel as heavy as it normally would. It is also a plus that the sideline work itself is more according to the form I am ok to expend time and energy on, and the paycheck isn't bad. That is another thing at play that makes this Monday mistake bearable. My attempts at changing the defaults of my daily life have started to effect significant changes to the very structure of how I do my dayjob. Claiming not only days but also my own gifts, talent, and skills in order to create a life truer to myself.
Redefining defaults is my whole theme for 2021 -- heck, it has been my whole theme since I decided I want to be a full-time artist half a decade ago. The pandemic gave my intentions a boost as it reshaped everything. And when the new normal of the world settles into place after the pandemic I want my life to have its new normal too. Better normal. Normal by design. A flowing normal, not one that gets stuck and congealed that it would take another pandemic to shake it all loose.