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In that limbo space between exhaustion and sleep

I just had a three-day weekend during which I worked.

There was a situation at work that led to my working too many extra hours. I am pissed. But the work has to be done and I do like my work. It's just frustrating when not everyone is a team player.


I am in bed, waiting for sleep. Tomorrow will be a major event day and I will be working on-site at the office until Tuesday. Then it's likely a major overtime from Tuesday to Wednesday. By end of day of Wednesday I will have submitted the required report and I can just log off for the next 4 days for another long weekend that, hopefully, I can spend like a weekend.

I don't have any new art to show you except an unfinished piece:

My life feels a little bit brittle lately. Like it's been left out too long in too much hard reality.

My home situation is still as difficult as ever but on a good note I bit the bullet and bought a new bigger fridge (on loan). So that solved a handful of trouble triggers in the household.

I have been spending too much money on feel-good food which are essentially proper meals that I have no one else to prepare after an average of 10 hours of work every week day. I really really want to be able to cook for myself but the work just takes so much from me.

I have lost track of how long I haven't eaten red meat. It has helped improve my energy levels but Long Covid has kept me away from ever regaining my strength and stamina pre-infection. My maximum charge is at around 60-70% and that is never enough for all that I have to deal with now.

I miss writing poems and sometimes I miss being in love. These days have been mostly about survival pretending to be an act of thriving. I have become leery of romantic love and jus plain tired of all that love in general entails.

I want to find magic again.

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