I cannot remember the last time I had a proper clock. I even stopped wearing a watch many years ago. I have come to rely on my phone for checking the time, and on my calendar app to remind me about my schedules.
Today I bought myself an old-fashioned analog alarm clock. I’ll be putting it on my bedside because starting tonight I will be leaving my phone in the studio when I rest for the night.
I realised that most of my recent anxieties and stress came through my phone: the constant calls and messages, the emails that somehow seem to emanate their own urgent energies even when I decide not to look, the occasional social media post that I would rather not see, the chat groups that sometimes feel like one of those holiday reunions that I’d rather not attend.
But my phone has also become such an extension of myself that not looking at it when it is in my hand is almost impossible. Thus the best way is to keep it away, and to stay away from it. This should also free me somehow from that sense of having to respond immediately to everything that comes in. I want to be free from it, actually, and be able to respond only when I am ready.
I may have to buy myself a watch too soon. So that I can go out and actually keep my phone inside my bag and only take it out when I need to book a ride.
I am thinking this will give me time too, when I wean myself from the need to constantly check the screen.
I’ll go back to making grocery lists on paper, and start making short errand trips without my phone. I want to unplug myself more. To disconnect so I can connect better with myself and my immediate surroundings.