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Today

Updated: May 19

The summer heat has become debilitating. Yesterday it hit its highest temperature yet.


Yesterday I also ended up working the whole day instead of having the day for other priorities. I also had really bad insomnia the night before. Hence it wasn’t too surprising when I felt knocked out by 9 PM and had to concede defeat and go to bed.


But the heat was such that I kept waking up feeling like I was being roasted. I’d go back to sleep in a just-so position to get most of the electric fan’s full-on power, but then I’ll move during sleep and end up outside of the comfort range and I’d wake up sweating with the heat rashes starting to rise on my skin.


Thus today I only managed to work in the morning, attending to three different projects. In the afternoon I was equally exhausted from the heat and the mental exertion.


Suffice it to say that not much else was done during the afternoon except attending to a variety of small errands and chores.


On a positive note, there will be paychecks soon and I will get to pay some of the overdue rent. I’ll also be able to do more complete grocery shopping and take my dad and the cats for their regular check-ups.


On a not-so-good note, studio and shop work are at a standstill. Again. As the sidelines consume all the day’s energy, whatever is left evaporates with the heat. Visits to the online shop are few and far between, and there have been no new sales after that first week of launch. I haven’t been able to post much as I haven’t been able to do anything worth sharing, and I don’t have the funds to boost posts.


It’s late evening now and I’ve set the alarm for 4 AM to have a headstart on tomorrow. I need to make up for this afternoon’s “loss” or else it will be worse next week when the deadline’s up.


I wish I can write more cheerful things. I wish I can be a more cheerful, lighter kind of artist. But these daily struggles are as much a part of my own process and creative journey as the progress. This is the long period that most success stories don’t always cover. This is the period of long years that are often summarised and simplified with a frequently misleading high note conclusion.


So maybe I’ll become more cheerful eventually, more brightly engaging. Maybe not. Maybe I’ll just be quietly inspiring — that’s not bad at all too. What’s important is that we all learn that we are not alone, that things really sometimes take a lot of time, and that even though the tough times seem to last longer than the good times, the tough times will eventually end.


There is always hope. Somehow.

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